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love me like you hate me

Ungrateful. A word Kane heard in place of his name. Being the son of a high executive, his life was supposedly easy, comfortable, navigable, beautiful. The truth couldn't be any further. While he grew up in a penthouse in Roppongi, he'd often been left by himself for days at a time. An unattentive father and absent mother. He never knew her, and he wished he never knew him. He'd rummage through the place whenever he needed to get something, make sure Kane wasn't dead, and head back out. It wasn't until he was well past middle school that his father gave him the truth of the family business. He'd brought him on a job, a bloody and dangerous job. A weapons exchange gone wrong, leading to a shoot out and an accident. Kane lost his eye, his father lost his patience.[break][break]

He didn't have much say in his involvement since. Kane's father saw him more as an asset or a servant than any sort of son. He'd run errands for the syndicate after high school, which he was only attending for appearances. His father worked in the day as a CFO for the Himita Corporation, and worked for the Aijwau at night. He grew his money this way, more than doubling his net worth in less than 10 years. [break][break]

Kane's only peace came in the hours he was in high school. He had a few friends, more so people he was friendly with. His inability to see them outside of school hours pinned him as suspicious and un-invitable. The only person on earth he trusted was another boy, his first love. As if it wasn't difficult enough hiding their same-sex relationship, Kane was also living an entire lie to someone he cared so much for. It broke him apart every day, and when he was on the verge of being honest, it was over. Kane had become too distant for him, and he'd be going to a college abroad soon anyway. 'Ill miss you.'[break][break]

After graduation, he had given up. Kane became whatever the Aijwau wanted him to be. A small pin in a grenade, or the explosion, whatever the job called for. The next two years were a messy blur of crimes he couldn't even name. Between jobs he'd stay in luxurious places, with beautiful people, and whatever you asked for on a whim. It was too bad he was numb to it, else it might have been quite nice. [break][break]

The only times Kane feels more himself is on street-level. Local bars and clubs are toxicly soothing, where he can meet others who are vastly different than the upper class h's used to. Despite how much he loves to flirt, it wouldn't be anyone he took home. He was particular. Specific. He was looking for something, although what that was he couldn't name. And then when it came to morning, and he reached his arms over for that something, it was cold and different. And he hated it. Feeling wanted was such a pleasure, but he will not admit to himself that they do not want him, only his pieces.[break][break]