KATSURA SATORU

personality +
Satoru stubbornly keeps himself guarded, a task that does not come easy and quickly drains him. He speaks little and hides behind a stoic persona. Although Satoru masquerades as cool headed and unflappable, he is in constant conflict with his emotions. As a result, he often expresses his feelings in swift, passionate, outbursts when his façade breaks.
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Despite the stony-faced image, he cares deeply and has an instinctual desire to help others. At his core, Satoru is quietly kind and compassionate. He’s recklessly selfless with little regard for his own wellbeing and he prefers to focus his energy on assisting others instead of looking inward. [break][break]

He does, however, judge harshly and hold people to high moral standards. He can be incredibly hypocritical and quick to anger when he is called out. He’s narrow-minded, unadventurous, and resistant to change, acting visibly sour when he’s pushed into unfamiliar territory. He lives by rules and routine, and is prone to dichotomous thinking with no sense of self-moderation. He struggles with his “all or nothing” mentality and quickly jumps to conclusions that tend to be pessimistic. [break][break]

likes + black coffee, falling asleep with the fan on, hot (read scalding) showers, people watching, listening to heavy rain, rituals and routines, researching and memorizing city maps, law and order [break][break]

dislikes + sweets, doing math (he’s bad at it), spending money, celebrating his birthday, hot climate/weather, driving, being in pictures, relying on others[break][break]

appearance + Tall and lanky, Satoru towers over most. His body is built solidly but shows his lack of nutrition (with a diet that consists of mostly coffee, cigarettes, and instant noodles it’s no surprise). Even so, his sheer height and broad shoulders can give him an intimidating presence. Do not mistake him for being frail; he carries a lot of strength despite his bony appearance.[break][break]

Satoru’s brows are almost always furrowed, causing him to frequently appear troubled and lost in thought. Despite his guarded personality, his dark brown eyes always give away his true emotions which explains his tendency to avoid eye contact. That said, when he does fix his gaze on others, it can be incredibly soft when focused on those he cares for and strikingly venomous when pointed at his enemies.[break][break]

He puts minimum effort into his appearance and attire, achieving a look that is never sloppy but clearly tailored to require little thought. His bland wardrobe consists of the same black t-shirts and dark-washed jeans. His dark black hair tends to be disheveled as he has a habit of anxiously running his hands through it. Despite his perpetual exhaustion, Satoru carries himself rigidly. His tense posture is a product of his strict upbringing but also a result of feeling uncomfortable in his own skin.
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family tree + father - isaac katsura (50), pharmaceuticals salesman (japanese american raised in usa). mother - katsura mimiko (48), unemployed (native japanese). brother - katsura yuzuru (25), unknown.
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childhood + Satoru was raised in a staunchly catholic household with traditional family values and puritanical beliefs. His childhood was regimented and rule-oriented, governed by an authoritarian father who valued tradition, duty, and perfection above all else. He was a pragmatic man who rarely displayed affection. While Satoru feared his father’s rules and punishments, he genuinely loved his father and craved the rare moments when his father showed him approval and tenderness. A small smile of appreciation or an affirming hand on the shoulder reassured him that he was not entirely inadequate in his father’s eyes.[break][break]

Though Satoru ceaselessly yearned for his father’s praise, it was his mother’s warmth and open affection that he truly cherished. She stayed at home to raise Satoru and his younger brother, where she was a constant light in their lives. During his youth, Satoru clung to her side and shaped much of himself to reflect her soft kindness and (to his father’s displeasure) meek mannerisms. He grew to be soft-spoken and unassertive, traits that his father deemed embarrassingly unmasculine. His brother, only two years younger, embodied everything Satoru was not. Yuzuru was bold and self-assured even at a young age. Despite being polar opposites, Satoru and Yuzuru were inseparable. They shared everything, readily confided in one another, and admired the other’s differences.[break][break]

adolescence + (tw: homophobia) Satoru and his brother were homeschooled for most of their early education and lived a very sheltered life. Their world perspective was entirely formed by their parents’ ideologies. Their access to information was biased and censored. When Satoru enrolled in his public middle school, he adjusted poorly. He was overwhelmed by the sudden element of choice and wild assortment of personalities. Satoru struggled to make friends. He found that no extracurriculars piqued his interest and that he had no career aspirations. He began to take comfort in the rituals and routines in his daily life and feared the day of graduation when he would need to choose his next direction in life.
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By the time he was in high school, Satoru had led a rather unremarkable life. Until he realized that he was falling in love with his best friend, his only friend. His feelings developed slowly and unconsciously at first, then feverishly. He panicked. He felt ashamed. He got scared. He convinced himself that as long as he didn’t act on his emotions, they would eventually go away. Instead, they deepened and intensified. He got very good at burying his thoughts and boxing away parts of himself. He feared that one day he would slip-up, ultimately buckle under the weight, and let his feelings be known. And that day did come after years of secret pining and a few passionless relationships with girls in his grade. [break][break]
After his high school graduation ceremony he softly pressed the second button from his jacket into his best friend’s hand, smiled sadly, and let his hand linger a moment as he closed the boy’s fingers around the token of his affection. The boy’s look of shock almost masked the horror that flickered for a moment on his face. But Satoru caught it and his stomach dropped. He knew there was a very small chance that his confession had a happy ending, but he couldn’t bear the thought of living with his pent up emotions anymore. The boy thanked him politely then stiffly turned away to walk their usual route home--alone. News traveled quickly in their small hometown. His parents were called. There was no dramatic fight, no violence. His father calmly informed him that he was never welcome back and Satoru nodded in understanding. [break][break]

adulthood + Satoru, since his disownment, has not had contact with his family. Prayers remedy the homesickness more than anything. He’s not as religious as he used to be but he finds comfort in its ritualistic nature. Now, he finds twisted solace in his job as an emergency police dispatcher. The ability to say “Jikendesu ka? Jikodesu ka? Nanika arimashita ka? (Is it an incident? Is it an accident? What happened?” as a solid, canned, response to every problem seems comforting. He hates himself for that--turning someone else’s suffering into a coping mechanism. Still, he welcomes the long hours and night shifts, often answering calls until the early hours of morning when his supervisor urges him home. [break][break]